Nobody will ever be able to supply the love and acceptance our parents failed to provide. We must heal ourselves. If we look to anything or anybody outside ourselves to love us into wholeness, we guarantee our ongoing misery.Craig Bergland

Can you get back up?

I should start by saying I don't like people fighting for money. Not a fan of boxing, I believe cage fighting is as barbaric as throwing Christians to the lions for entertainment doring the Roman Empire, and I believe that one day we will look back at the "sport" of encouraging people of color to…

What if bad isn’t bad?

First, a disclaimer: The ideas in this post are under development and not finalized in any way, shape or form. I reserve the right to denounce the entire contents at any time in the future. What if bad isn't bad? Asked another way, what if the things that happen that we identify as bad are…

What the Neighbors Think

I suspect there are more of us out there than we might expect who grew up with parents who had one level or another of preoccupation with what the neighbors might think. There are any number of reasons that happens. None of them are legitimate. Whatever the real reason for neighborly preoccupation was - narcissism,…

Decline, Death, and Family Matters

Nothing brings out skeletons from any family closet quite like decline and looming or actual death of matriarchs, patriarchs, and those in the family who wish they were either. In truth, it doesn't matter who is close to death and what our relationship to them might be, death brings out the worst in us. You…

Blind Spots

We all have blind spots. Some of us have physical blind spots, but almost all of us have metaphorical blind spots. Part of the spiritual life is searching out those blind spots and working to heal them. We may well never eliminate them all, because they can pop up throughout our life. When teachers we…

Wounds

Life hands us all a variety of wounds. These wounds are of different sizes and depths, different intensities and duration, even of different quantity and quality. Our task is not to avoid them, but work through them; not to pass them on to others or try to ignore them, but to understand and heal them.…

Why?

Sometimes we get so wrapped up in the horror of things that we never get around to asking why they happen. I don't say that as a criticism at all, I think it's just part of how our mind works. We hear of something so out of the ordinary, or at least out of what…

Not Going Away

Many people have one or more chronic concerns. These may be things from their personal or health history, newly arisen medical issues, or simply things they worry about. If I had a nickel for every person who described themselves to me as a "worrier," I'd have a lot of nickels. Other people believe that if…

Not My Stuff

I frequently encounter situations where someone has taken on the developmental or recovery work of a friend or loved one. They mean well, and they want to help their loved one in their process, but somewhere along the way a line gets crossed and their efforts turn from helping the individual in question to hurting…