Happy New Year!

New Year's Eve hasn't been the same since Dick Clark passed and his ball could no longer dropped to commemorate the New Year. What's the point in even staying up if you can't see Dick? Then there is the truth that as we age staying up until midnight becomes less a celebration than some kind…

Attachment to Outcomes

Attachment to outcomes is never a good idea, yet in our culture we receive messages from all sides telling us we are absolutely, personally responsible for the success of every movement that we support. The messages quite often are formatted in an "if, then" way. "If our effort doesn't succeed, then disaster looms and so…

What Are You Doing…

...with all that toilet paper? This is a serious question. For weeks now, you have been buying every last roll of toilet paper you can get your hands on. I am trying to decide what you are doing that you continue to need more. Mind you, I have plenty. I bought two nine packs about…

Behavior Police

If you are one of those people who patrol the Internet looking for things you don't agree with in the Hope's of finding someone doing something you don't agree with so you can "correct" them, I have a suggestion. Just stop. Find a hobby, grab a good book, learn to knit, or buy some rechargeable…

Ego and the Spiritual Path

We are an extremely competitive society. We can turn anything into a competition - to our detriment, I am afraid. If you can measure it, we can fight over who does it best. If you can quantify it, I guarantee you mine is bigger - unless being smaller is better, but to be honest most males…

Control the future?

Tennis player Naomi Osaka currently appears in a television commercial for Citizen watches in which she says, "I can control my future." No, Naomi, you can't. None of us can, an we have a collection of lovely (and sometimes trite) pieces of folk wisdom and spiritual teachings to remind us that we can't. Even wearing…

Trust and Relationships

The problem with relationships is they ask us to trust someone else, and that opens the door to being hurt. This leads some people to choose not to trust (and quite often to be control freaks), the result of which is those people hurt themselves through the stunted life they lead. The self-protection of attempting…

Controlling Partners

People sometimes say to me, "I let my wife do this or that," as if they deserve a cookie for "allowing" another adult to make a choice to meet a need they have. Let's be clear: no adult needs "permission" from any other adult to do anything. We "allow" children to do things, but if…