The Ambiguity of Rules

Sometimes it seems there isn't a corner of life not overburdened with rules. Some are probably necessary - Sammy Hagar still can't drive 55, after all, even though in many places he can get an extra ten to fifteen miles per hour. He must be that guy driving slowly in the left lane! Games need…

Getting out of our own way

It may seem like a strange concept, but many of us have a habit of getting in our own way. We may have an objective in mind, but we also have a habitual behavior that impedes our ability to achieve our goal. We may feel that, whatever the barrier is, we are completely justified in…

When Does Appeasement Embolden?

When does appeasement embolden? Anyone who has raised children knows that point exists. Children, as an appropriate task of development, challenge their parents, test limits, and push against the rules. At different ages, different rules are challenged at different levels of intensity, but the challenges happen and those kids are looking for the reassurance that…

Happy New Year!

New Year's Eve hasn't been the same since Dick Clark passed and his ball could no longer dropped to commemorate the New Year. What's the point in even staying up if you can't see Dick? Then there is the truth that as we age staying up until midnight becomes less a celebration than some kind…

Faith and Obligation?

If something is an obligation, is doing it really faith or rather fear of punishment? Those of us raised in small-c catholic traditions may recall the idea of holy days of obligation. These were days wherein church attendance was considered mandatory, and failure to attend was considered sin unless you had an officially sanctioned reason…

Chronic Pain and Spiritual Life

It's estimated that just over twenty percent of Americans suffer from chronic pain. I find that to be a frightening number, and I am among them. There is no shortage of theories about why people suffer from chronic pain, and the theories transcend physical ressons. In truth, above the age of fifty most people have…

The Fall of Jerry Falwell, Jr.

Many may be tempted to see the fall of Jerry Falwell, Jr. to be a tragic, isolated incident of one man gone astray. It's anything but. This isn't about Jerry sitting in the corner 'observing" while the pool boy cum business partner frolics on the bed with Jerry's wife. (As an aside, since these religious…

Attachment to Outcomes

Attachment to outcomes is never a good idea, yet in our culture we receive messages from all sides telling us we are absolutely, personally responsible for the success of every movement that we support. The messages quite often are formatted in an "if, then" way. "If our effort doesn't succeed, then disaster looms and so…

Staying Present

It has been rightly said that the only moment we have is the present moment. The past is gone and cannot be changed. The future has not yet arrived and so is beyond our reach. It seems so obvious, so simple, yet how much time do we spend fixating on the past or dreaming of…