People sometimes say to me, “I let my wife do this or that,” as if they deserve a cookie for “allowing” another adult to make a choice to meet a need they have.

Let’s be clear: no adult needs “permission” from any other adult to do anything. We “allow” children to do things, but if we believe we have the right to deny allow another adult to exercise their free will then we have become a manipulative, pathetic excuse for a partner – in fact, such behavior is abusive. Here’s the lesson: other people do not exist to make you happy. Believing that’s the case is narcissism.